I Love Me, I Love Me Not…




The month of February has always been, at least within my own life, the month of romantic love. As our local stores begin to fill its shelves with hearts filled with candy, sparkly cards with titles such as, ” To my Sweetheart” and TV filled commercials promoting diamond engagement rings and drop heart pendants by jewelry stores. So much emphasis has been placed on the act of “getting” that our minds have become conditioned, over many years, that you are only loved, and more importantly are not- if someone else does not express these types of sentiments on this single day of the year out of 365. It is in this single moment of preconceived notions, that we completely misconstrue what’s really going on here by measuring whether we are special and loved or not by these of “getting.”

But aren’t we forgetting the most important thing that should be looked at and considered?

What I’m finally “getting” at is all about Self Love.

Practicing Self Love, which is the ability to be and maintain that space of liking and loving ourselves, is so very important yet somehow our culture fails to emphasize this first act of compassion and endearment toward ourselves.

To be able to view ourselves in a loving way will not only create within us complete happiness and fulfillment, but it will also energetically bring situations that are pure and loving right to our doorstep. I have been witness to many friends and acquaintances, myself included, through the years hearing metaphorical statements including, ” Why is it so hard for me to find true love?”  I have also come across many posts ( in this day and age of social media), too many in all honestly, that hint at this very same question. I sometimes wonder if any one of them have stood in front of their mirrors and are able to take a good hard look at themselves and see the beauty of who they truly are and say, “You know what, I really love what I’m seeing here and I really love you.” I’m willing to guess no, not really, probably not ever.


Love is one of the highest vibrations we can hold, some say it is THE highest and it comes so naturally to us when expressed toward others but for some reason when it comes to extending that love to ourselves, it is mostly nonexistent. Now again, referring back to that space of trained thinking, that “Valentine’s Day Phenomena”, in which we can only be loved if someone else gives it to us, is not only unhealthy thinking but just a big bag of hogwash. First, we must learn to love ourselves ~ unconditionally ~ for better or for worse, for all our faults and mistakes, and of course the triumphs and healing we have achieved and accomplished throughout our years lives.

finger hearts


Some may read this and think, “Well, that’s just conceited, self- centered behavior,” ( yet another self limiting belief that was imposed upon us during early childhood and teenage years,)  I will clarify: This is all about personal self growth, taking a good look at ourselves, beginning the process of going deep within the crevices of our soul to locate where this limited thinking began. To accept, forgive, heal, and then to love, yes, that’s right -ourselves”. I am certainly not speaking about the shout it out to anyone type personality, anyone who will listen to them about how “great” they are. This, spiritually speaking, is another layer of healing that needs to be acknowledged, not only the aspect of not loving the self but could also include insecurity lessons, acceptance challenges etc;

Listen, I know just as much as anyone that taking a good, hard look at ourselves is not easy, and it probably never will be. But if you do and learn to really embrace and love yourself, I promise that not only will you be a much happier person, you will no longer have to wonder or ask those daunting questions as to why pure love is so hard to find and why it never comes your way because you will be surrounded by it.

You will be filled with it.

You will encompass it ~ and, it wont be for just 1 day.

It all begins with us and when we can learn to truly and unconditionally love ourselves, all of our dreams and more, will come true.

May you live in a state of unconditional love every minute, every day and always..

Much Light Much love,

Kathy ~ Balance for Life








Katherine Mongiello

Long time teacher, Energy Healer. She continues to guide & dedicate her life to helping, healing & educating.



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